on fistfights (5/13/14)

But seriously though, what could Jay Z have possibly said or done to make Solange go all H.A.M. on him like that?

Solo threw punches and personal effects, kicked and spit on Jay Z in an elevator at a gala event at the Met. Allegedly. What could he have said or done to trigger all that? And what’s the deal with Beyonce standing by impassively while her sister literally beat her husband's ass? My inquiring mind truly does want to know.

Throughout the day I think a whole lot of evil thoughts, and on occasion I’ve been known to talk a lot of shit, but I have had only one physical fight in my entire life and I was only 9 years old. It was so traumatic I don’t even recall whether or not I was the victor. I do know the experience was sufficiently harrowing to prevent my ever having another. Needless to say at my current advanced age, putting the paws on someone simply isn’t an option. Sure, I fantasize about choking and beating people all day long, but actually doing so? Not me. I value my freedom too much and I am FAR too delicate for jail.